Saturday 19 September 2020, 13:44 GMT
  
                                 


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Notes from our Motovational Guru

 

RELATIONSHIPS

The subject being discussed today between myself and Julie was the subject of how we can empower our personal relationships with our ‘significant other’ – so if you are interested in getting the very best experience of each other and your relationship, then read on…

 

Julie was keen to say that paying attention to our relationships is not only required when there are problems.  Reviewing a successful relationship regularly and finding out what makes it work is as important as reviewing a failing relationship to identify what isn’t working.  She said, “The fact is, you have chosen this person to be your significant other, so why would you not want to ensure you both get the greatest experience from each other and your relationship?”.  Fair point, I thought!

 

In a nutshell, Julie suggested the following three tips for empowering your relationship and uplifting the energy between you as a couple.  She says…

 

  • Focus on the individual that your partner is.  Focus on who they are, rather than on what they do.  If they do something to irritate you, discuss it – but don’t let their actions define your perception of them.  You fell in love with someone more intriguing, interesting and exciting than the guy who leaves the loo seat up or the girl who never thinks to empty the bins, so don’t allow these personal quirks to mask the good points of the person you fell in love with.  Focusing on and enjoying each other as individuals will allow you both to compromise (and on the odd occasion, sacrifice) on what you do, but it will ensure that neither of you ever have to compromise, or sacrifice, who you are as individuals.

 

Find out what is important to your partner about being in a relationship.  Find out what needs to happen for them to feel deeply loved and cared for by you – then do it!  If your partner needs to hear certain things in certain ways, why wouldn’t you say it to them?  If your partner needs to be taken out from time to time and made to feel your number one for a day or evening, why wouldn’t you arrange to do this with him or her?  If your partner needs to spend time talking to you about how he or she feels and hearing how you feel, why would you not learn to do this with them? 

 

If your significant other is your significant other – then why not do all of the above?  It’s not rocket science – just like anything in life - you get out of it what you put into it!  So why not put everything into it?  You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome!

 

  • Make time to be together.  How many times do you read this in self-help articles or hear it said by those fortunate enough to celebrate their Ruby, Golden or Diamond wedding anniversaries?  The fact is that life gets busy and it is so easy for us to ‘forget’ our partner’s needs or indeed, ‘forget’ our own individual needs in a relationship.  Making time to date each other can bring as many uplifting moments as your imaginations can create!  It’s your relationship, so you get to choose the kind of time you spend together.  As long as ‘dates’ are scheduled to include things you both enjoy doing, spending time together soon becomes ‘quality time’ – a precious commodity in a relationship that is at the centre of a busy family world or at the centre of two busy high-flying careers!

 

  • Update your relationship!  If you are employed or in business you will be aware of the concepts of appraisals, goal setting and/or monitoring success rates.  “Well, your relationship is no different”, Julie says.  Although you don’t have to be as formal as you would be in a work situation, reviewing your relationship regularly, and on many levels, is a guaranteed way to ensure it remains intriguing, interesting and exciting to both parties – for the long-term!  If you are adhering to point 2 above and making time for each other regularly, this won’t be too hard to do!  That said, whenever you decide to do it, make it as fun and enjoyable as possible.  Try not to wait until you experience problems – if your relationship is great right now – do it now!

 

Decide together what kind of relationship you both want to experience at this moment in your lives.  Ask each other what is important to you, as an individual, about life and about a relationship.  Re-design your relationship to be in alignment with where you both are right now – forget the should’s and shouldn’t’s of years gone by - or of conventional thinking – design your relationship in your way.  Then commit to that new relationship.  Committing to each other as you move through the different phases of your relationship and of life underpins the security of you both on a deep psychological level and this regular binding of love will, conversely, free each of you as an individual.  When we are free to be who we truly are and we have a partner and a relationship who celebrates us as an individual, the more we are automatically driven to commit to that relationship.  Key point…Being free to be ourselves and allowing our partners to be free to be themselves can actually secure a relationship rather than destroy it. 

 

So there you have it folks, an edited version of our light-hearted, but serious Morning Show discussion about the topic of Relationships!

 

Julie and I will be discussing varying elements of Relationship coaching over the next few programmes as we appreciate it is a complex subject and has many different facets to it.  As usual, it is important to both of us that we deliver what it is you want to hear so do let us know what that is.  If you have any questions for Julie or you would like us to gear a programme towards any particular element of relationships, do get in touch and we will do our best to fulfil your requests.

Regards  Andrew and Julie 



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