Thursday 1 October 2020, 08:49 GMT

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More packed than Alex Reid's bra drawer

In the Sunday Hangover News this week:

- Music fans are distraught at the death of Boyzone's Stephen Gately - distraught, that is, that it wasn't Ronan Keating.
- Cage-fighter Alex Reid has revealed he is a cross-dresser. But that's what living with Jordan does for you. He's also a very cross undresser, a furious washer and an absolutely livid eater.
- Gordon Brown said today that his failing eyesight would not affect his ability to govern. He spoke while holding a hairbrush and looking into a mirror, while journalists waited in the room next door.
- And finally, Colleen Rooney said today that she won't be selling pictures of her baby to OK! or Hello! magazine. 'They can use a photo of Shrek like everyone else.'

In a packed show this week John and Jeff gave the boastful showtune 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better' the Sunday Hangover treatment. Altogether now: 'Anything you can do, we can do, well not better exactly, but we'll have a go, no promises, can't say fairer than that'.

We asked: If Barack Obama has been given the Nobel Peace Prize for things 'he might one day do', what next? The 100m gold medal at the 2012 Olympics for 'the race he might one day win'? And we wouldn't bother entering Celebrity Masterchef next year, all you C-lister celebrities. There's only one winner, for 'the pie he might one day bake'.

And we introduced a new feature called Pointless Survey Of The Week in which the people of Britain revealed their Top 50 most confusing things ever. Do you know what was fourth? Ahead of 'religion', 'Stephen Hawking's theories', 'the laws of cricket' and 'interest rates'?

It was: 'why did Cheryl Cole stay with millionaire love rat Ashley Cole?'

Now, that's confusing.
Top 5
In a surgically enhanced Top 5 this week we paid tribute to Amy Winehouse's decision to have breast augmentation JUST TO APPEAR on Strictly Come Dancing (after she was told the programme was full of tits - and that's just the judges).  Yes, we had Elaine Paige's Mammaries, yes, we had hits from Kiki Double-D, You're My Breast Friend, Theme From Bra Wars and the Jackson's ABC-Cup, but in the end our perfectly tasteful radio-friendly list was: 
5. Fake That And Party - Fake That
4. Boob-Op A-Lula - Elvis
3. Silicone Love Songs - Wings
2. Boob Looks Like A Lady - Aerosmith
1. Even Bigger Than The Real Thing - Your 2
Track listing
Fire  The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown
Dirty Harry Gorillaz
P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) Michael Jackson
Higher Ground Stevie Wonder
Indian Rope Charlatans
Straussmania Daniel Salinas
Cat People  David Bowie
Radar Love Golden Earring
Theme from the Champions Tony Hatch Orchestra
Dream On Aerosmith
You Know My Name Chris Cornell
Relator Scarlett Johansson & Pete Yorn
Tapestry Carole King
Even Better Than The Real Thing U2
We Are The Champions Crazy Frog
Ride of the Valkyries Richard Wagner

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